Title: Go And Be Burnt By The Moon
Request: Mikey/Alicia/Gerard, anyway it comes about is fine.
Word count: 2,886
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone.
A/N: Thanks to bluevsgrey
for the last minute beta and temblabamomo
for telling me this didn’t suck. Title and cut text from the Used's Find A Way
As soon as the European tour is done Gerard is even more than happy to be going home, he’s fucking ecstatic. He’s leaving behind a lot of baggage and just moving on. The summer tour will be starting soon and he’s all too ready for something new; something fun.
The first thing he does when the plane touches down at JFK is call Mikey. The call is pointless because as soon as he passes the security gate Mikey’s already waiting; phone to his ear and smile plastered across his face.
“Asshole,” Gerard says returning the smile and it’s said with no malice at all and followed up by a tight hug.
“Welcome home, “ Mikey laughs tightening his grip on Gerard.
“Fuck yeah. Let’s get the hell outta here.”
They stop at Starbucks for much needed coffee and to catch up with each other after months of being apart. Mikey doesn’t bring up what happen in Europe and Gerard is almost relieved but a part of him wants to talk about. Instead he let’s Mikey go on about the beauties of married life off the road.
“Man, there are days when don’t do anything. And shit, is it awesome.” He says laughing and Gerard is almost envious but much more proud. Proud that Mikey has gotten here because, fuck, does the kid deserve it.
“That’s great! That’s how it should be.”
“Yeah, but your home now so I don’t have to be bored anymore.”
Gerard actually snorts a laugh at Mikey’s comment.
“I imagine the last thing you are is bored.”
“Whatever. Seriously, though, I think you should stay at the apartment for a while before Projekt Rev.” Mikey says as nonchalantly as possible and Gerard can tell how much Mikey really wants him to.
But Gerard can’t. Mikey’s on his “honeymoon” and it just wouldn’t be right for Gerard to intrude in on their new life. He wants to tell Mikey as much but can’t bring himself to so he takes the easier way out.
“Can’t, man. All those fucking cats. What you trying to do kill me?” It’s said as lighthearted as Gerard can manage hoping to avoid the disappointed Mikey face. That shit would just not be fair.
When Mikey doesn’t give the disappointed face Gerard is letting out a quite sigh but then Mikey pulls a smirk and Gerard knows he’s in trouble.
“Already taken care of.” Mikey’s face is epitome of the phrase ‘resistance is futile’.
Gerard just shakes his head and stutters out a laugh.
Gerard settles in a few days later after he picks up some things he’ll need for the stay. Upon entering the apartment he notices how clean everything is and the blessed absence of felines. When asks he finds out that the cats are with some friends in Jersey and Alicia cleaned every inch of the apartment before she left for LA a week ago. Honestly, Gerard ‘s impressed if not a little weird out that they would go through so much trouble for him when he could have easily just slept in their Mom’s basement.
Mikey waves off his concerns and they go back to playing Halo and eating pizza.
Alicia comes back from LA two days after Gerard unofficially and temporarily moves in. When they pick her up at the airport Gerard is almost startled by her reaction to him being there.
She throws her whole body into the hug and they both laugh loudly. When Gerard pulls back Alicia smiles big and excited. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Mikey shake his head in amusement.
On the ride back to the apartment Alicia sits up front with Mikey. She tells them ridiculous stories about all her friends in LA and getting to spend time with Sarah. They laugh along with her and she smiles back at them, sometimes turning around to smile at Gerard who gladly smiles back.
The next few days after Alicia comes home the three of them fall into a bit of a routine.
No one gets up till after noon, Alicia and Mikey walk and feed the dogs, the three of them go out for a late lunch, and then Mikey and Alicia play World of Warcraft till Mikey gives up because, “fuck, ‘licia! Stop killing me!” and claims that he’s too hungry to play anymore.
Sometimes Alicia will try a little cooking and depending on the smell coming from the kitchen Mikey will either eat it or flat out refuse to. More times then not Mikey will say no, leaving Gerard but Gerard gladly tries everything Alicia makes.
She makes him speak truthfully and he does because she’s kind scary sometimes. Most of what she makes is decent and sometimes it just down right nasty. Her response is usually, “oh, well, at least I tried.”
Gerard tries to convince Mikey that just because it smells bad doesn’t mean it not going to be any good. Mikey just looks him in the eye, blinks and goes back to reading his comic and eating his ham and cheese sandwich.
They break routine about a week later when Mikey decides he needs to start working out again.
Gerard wakes up one afternoon to find Alicia sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
“Didn’t know you could do that?” Gerard says heading toward Alicia and Mikey’s fancy coffee maker.
“What—fuck you!” She says in mock anger as Gerard pours himself a mug of really good coffee, even if it is some fancy concoction of nuts and chocolate and whathefuckever.
He turns to lean against the counter scrubbing a hand through his sleep mused hair. He takes a long sip and asks, “Does it usually take him this long to work out?”
“Oh, no, he, um, he goes to see his therapist first then works out. He says it helps him release all the shit he’s built up in his head.” She answers him with out looking up from the paper.
Gerard knows all too well the shit that his own head will build up so he let’s it go and changes the subject.
“You should come to Jersey with me.”
“Ugh...Sure!” The smile she gives him is more then obviously fake. Gerard throws his head back and laughs.
Gerard comes back to the apartment one night after having an impromptu dinner with an old college friend he ran into downtown to find Mikey and Alicia on the couch in what can only be described as a heated embrace. It sounds corny in his head but honestly what else would you call it.
He freezes in the doorway as Alicia sits up quickly blushing and apologizing. Gerard in turn apologizes and strangely gets embarrassed but mostly because it’s clear Alicia embarrassed. Sympathy embarrassment.
Mikey on the other hands just looks smug, simply says, “Hey, Gee.”
Gerard excuses himself to the spare room he’s staying in, trying his damnedest to hide his smile for Alicia sake. As he heads down the hall he hears Alicia scuff at Mikey.
“What the fuck? Don’t look so fucking smug?”
Mikey returns with a feigned innocent, “What?”
After the couch incident Gerard quickly notices a pattern over the next few days.
Whenever he walks into a room Mikey starts getting handsy causing Alicia to retaliate by pushing Mikey away almost playfully and even if she doesn’t admit it, squealing.
The first few times Gerard just thinks its cute (newlyweds, he says jokingly) but when Mikey starts pushing past cuddles and kisses Gerard starts blushing and makes quick and hopefully unnoticeable exits from whatever room they’re in.
It isn’t till he has to start avoiding them that he thinks maybe he’s over staying his welcome.
Alicia is completely draped across the couch watching something about submarines and has completely zoned out. Piglet’s got her wrinkled little head and paws stretched over Alicia’s ankles dozing.
Gerard, adjacent to them, has a sketch book open on his crossed legs. He’s alternating between sketching Piglet over Alicia’s legs and stopping to listen to the melodramatic narration about the importance of submarines during WWI and WWII.
Somewhere between sonar and getting the shading right on Piglets nose Mikey wanders into the living room. He immediately shoos Piglet off the couch and proceeds to lay himself out atop Alicia.
She twitches out of her History Channel induced trance and smiles softly at Mikey as he lowers himself and gets comfortable.
Gerard sees it coming before even Alicia does and his whole body stiffens as if it’ll make less of an impact.
Before Alicia even realizes what’s happened Mikey’s hand is out of view but so obviously down her the front of her sweats.
Alicia’s shocked gasp, which is partly arousal, shakes Gerard to the core. He’s got no clue why this is happening, why his brother is doing this but he honestly doesn’t care to ask. He’s up and out of the room leaving behind his sketch book and a thoroughly flushed Alicia.
Gerard has no idea which emotion he is supposed to be feeling. There’s the obvious shock but behind that is so much more.
He’s embarrassed that his brother’s being so blunt and for the way he’s making Alicia just as embarrassed. He’s angry to think that Mikey could possibly be flaunting this in Gerard’s face and with that thought comes hurt because this is his brother for fuck’s sake. Would Mikey honestly do something so, so mean?
Mostly though, he’s confused but lastly, the emotion he would much rather not admit to is turned on.
Individually, their good looking kids, Mikey and Alicia but together. Together most people will admit, even Gerard, they’re fucking gorgeous.
Together they’re all sharp features and intense but almost blasé looks. It’s an aesthetic Gerard can’t deny but he’s never had to deal with the...temptation of it. Of them.
He sinks back in to his bed and before he can send himself over some ledge he can’t be saved from he drifts off to sleep.
As soon as Gerard blinks awake he’s already putting together what he’s going to say, how he’s going to get out of this without hurting anyone’s feelings or his own.
He sits at the edge of his bed planning out his words carefully. Once he’s satisfied he gets up, showers, dresses, and starts to head out of the apartment.
Gerard’s prepared to run into either Mikey or Alicia on the way out; prepared to make his speech. He throws his messenger bag over his shoulder and walks into the kitchen.
It’s only Alicia sitting at the dining table, as it usually is. They make eye contact when Gerard walks in and stops. She’s got quite a few expressions on her face and Gerard’s not sure if he should make his speech or run far, far away.
Alicia looks scared, embarrassed, and apologetic and Gerard finally gets up the courage to speak and when he clears his throat something akin to relief flashes across her face. He clears his throat again.
“Um, I was just heading out. I, um, don’t know how long I’ll be. Probably won’t be back until after dinner.” He says presenting it as casually as he can possibly can. He waits a beat to let her speak and before he bolts for the door he turns half away her.
“And, um, look, it’d probably be easier for me to stay somewhere else before the tour starts again. Give you guys some space. I’ll be out of you hair by tomorrow, promise.”
And with that he’s out the door and heading toward the elevator. He doesn’t want to wait for her response or even witness her reaction, he simply takes off.
"Always running,” He thinks to himself as the elevator dings open.
True to his word, Gerard doesn’t get back to the apartment until almost 11 at night. He almost forgets about everything until he has to walk down the hall to the spare bedroom and has to pass Mikey and Alicia’s room on the way.
The door is closed but there’s light coming through the bottom and Gerard can hear them speaking in low voices.
He makes it a point to not listen and keeps moving as quietly as possible till he gets to his room.
After dropping his bag carelessly on the floor and peeling off his jacket, Gerard sits heavily on the bed. He’s been out all day and his exhaustion is catching up with him. He really has to pee.
The bathroom is right across the hall from the spare room so he figures he’ll be in and out without running into any interference.
He makes it to the bathroom but as soon as he opens the door to simply walk across the hall back to his room he makes the mistake of looking toward Mikey and Alicia’s room.
Mikey is standing in the door way leaning against the frame, arms crossed with his whole body angled towards Gerard. His face is unreadable in the dim hallway and for the first time in his brother’s presence Gerard feels unsure about himself, about them.
“Gerard?” Mikey says in a tone Gerard knows he can’t handle.
“Mikey, don’t. I get it, just—“ He stops because he doesn’t know what to say but better yet if what he wants to say is going to hurt too much.
“What, Gerard?” And now Mikey’s pushing and Gerard doesn’t know which way to go. He wants to push back but this is Mikey and he’s never had the strength. “What do you get?”
Gerard takes a deep breath and braces himself trying to stand his ground to speak up. He and Mikey don’t fight and Gerard doesn’t want to start now but some things just need to be said.
“If, if you didn’t want me here, or wanted to prove something, wanted to show me I’d over stayed my welcome or how much better your doing than me, then why let me stay? Why not just tell me to my face?”
Gerard’s surprised at how hurt he sounds, how he feels under Mikey’s gaze. But he’s got a little pride building from the ability to give the speech.
Mikey continues to stare, unmoving and Gerard waits. He appears to be somewhat taken back but again the only light in the hall way doesn’t give Gerard a good view of Mikey’s face.
He does catch Mikey narrowing his eyes and Gerard tries his best to anticipate Mikey’s response. But he doesn’t say anything and then his face just crumbles and his head falls forward. It’s obvious to Gerard that its remorse not anger and he lets his shoulders relax and sighs.
Mikey pushes off the doorframe slowly making his way toward Gerard.
“Mikey.” Gerard says apologetically because the last thing he wants to do is make Mikey feel bad about himself no matter what he’s done. But Mikey stops him before he can say anything else with a hand on Gerard’s arm. He’s firm but the touch is comforting.
“No, Gerard, that’s not. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m sorry.” His head is bent low and close to Gerard’s.
Despite how close they are Gerard moves in closer bringing a hand to Mikey’s waist squeezing.
“Mikey, it’s okay, this is your home. I’ve spent too much time in you hair.”
Mikey’s hand is suddenly relocated to the side of Gerard’s neck surprising him but certainly not unwanted.
“No.” Mikey’s tone is final and his grip tightens pulling Gerard even closer. When their foreheads touch Mikey breathes out slowly across Gerard’s lips. He feels the goose bumps rise as Mikey starts again, “That’s not what I want. Not what we want.”
Maybe it’s the way he says it or maybe its the closeness but Gerard feels a shiver go up his spine, his stomach flutter, and he lets something go.
He doesn’t notice till his lips ghost across Mikey’s how much closer they’ve gotten. Nearly pressed flush against each other.
“Don’t go. Stay.”
It’s not a question but Gerard nods his head anyway making Mikey move with him. His hand shifts to Mikey’s lower back when Mikey turns his head pressing his lips against Gerard’s cheek pulling him in closer.
“Come to the bedroom with me.”
It doesn’t startle Gerard as much as it should but he’s already given in. He’ll give Mikey whatever it is that he wants. And he almost thinks Mikey didn’t hear his yes but then he takes Gerard’s hand leading him to bedroom pulling him in silently.
He isn’t sure what he was expecting once inside but the bare curve of Alicia’s shoulders is not unwelcome. She’s wrapped in the stark white bed sheets, her back to the door and the dark unfinished lines down her arm seem downright elegant.
Behind Gerard Mikey closes the door and the soft click gets Alicia’s attention as she looks over her at them.
Any reservations Gerard has had up to this point are erased when Alicia smiles and holds out her hand, “Come on. Come to bed.”
Any doubt that Gerard might not want this is forgotten when he not longer knows or cares whose lips he’s kissing.